The Zombie Research Society

I just entered into a t-shirt competition with the Zombie Research Society, the mission? To design a practical and functional weapon for use against zombies from items not designed for that purpose. Simples hey? and here is my answer!

ok here we go… they way I see it all you really need is a short piece of string (shoelace perhaps), a classroom ruler (you know the really sturdy but flicky ones which have a hole pinched in for no explicable reason) and wait for it… a very pissed off hamster. Tie the hamster’s back legs to the ruler (through the hole) and perch him on the end. And catapult that baby like your back in school! The best bit is that he always comes back and lets be honest there teeth are sharp. Could do some serious damage if your in a tight spot and near a child’s bedroom.

This is only a close range weapon, the long range version is currently under development. Having trouble getting my damn hamster to come back.

Genius huh? I think I have a good chance of winning!

A Wise Investment?

For some time now I have had the means available to me to buy a house. The idea of buying somewhere has always seemed to be absurd to me as I have no desire to settle down yet. However it appears that it is still a good time to buy. At the same time new possibilities and options are now opening up for me, one of which is buying to rent.

With the added option of privately renting the property I would be potentially able to make a small monthly profit after making any mortgage repayments. This could also be done without necessarily shafting any tenants.

If I was to exclusively rent to friends only, then I could be relatively safe in the knowledge that my investment would be looked after. 

Like any investment there will of course be risks involved but in a potential worst case scenario of not being able to find any tenants which seems to be quite unlikely, I could just live in the property myself. it is certainly something which I think deserves more thought.

I knew it was wrong..

After finding a McDonald's just around the corner from the Hen & Chicken the old familiar craving started. Everyone knows just how unhealthy fast food has become let alone the damage that it causes to the environment and the needless suffering of animals. 

I decided to put all of my reservations about the fast food industry to one side for the afternoon and give in to the chemically altered temptation. Having not eaten there for some years, I believe the last time was on the way back from Global Gathering. I had forgotten just how outstandingly awful it really was. 

In my moment of nutritional weakness I ordered a large Big Mac meal with a large strawberry milkshake. Mistake. 

Putting aside the fact that it filled me up yet left me feeling even unhealthier. The Big Mac was luke warm and virtually tasteless, comparing it to cardboard is an insult to boxes the world over. Every bite of the burger was worse than the one before. It had obviously been kept under a hot light for some time as the "salad" had started to wilt. The fries were bearable however, I sincerely doubt that even the minimum wage workers could fuck those up. Definitely over salted though, lets force flavor! The shining light in this insult to my taste buds was the milkshake. Creamy strawberry niceness.  

After finishing off my meal of salt, fat and sugar I discovered a handy nutritional guide on the tray. I am just going to concentrate on the key parts fat, calories, salt and sugar. Totals for the meal are..

Calories : 1490 GDA : 75%

Fat : 61g GDA : 91%

Salt : 3.6g GDA : 72%

Sugar : 88g GDA : 88%

Its nice to know that in one meal I had consumed nearly all of my recommended daily allowance, a couple of cups of tea and a bag of crisps on the same day and it was blown! Interestingly enough no vitamins or minerals are listed on there, well its not really interesting as I doubt there is any need to list those. 

Take my advice and come to the Hen and Chicken for a burger instead! Its only an extra ten minutes down the road.

Madman Musings

Whilst sitting here, enjoying my new found love of minimal dnb. I had an idea! This has become a bit of a rarity of late, maybe this is because of working again. The repetitive nature of cooking as a job tends to stifle creativity. What enthusiasm you have has a habit of being sucked out by serving a hundred to a hundred and fifty meals a day. 

Bear in mind that this is just an idea for a dish and a recipe may be some time if at all really. I like menu ideas for there simplicity, in a few words I can sum up a meal. This quite nicely ties in to the minimal dnb, simplicity and minimalism have amazingly pure qualities.

Parmesan Corn-fed Chicken Supreme with Garlic Spinach, Pot-roasted Baby Carrots and a Shallot and Thyme Cream

This is just an idea but I'm thinking Parmesan crust, rosemary and butter for the carrots and the sauce is blatantly getting the wine treatment. 

Oh and if your interested in the minimal dnb then check this happy tune writer out! All the best music seems to come from Australia these days.

http://soundcloud.com/royalston/tracks?page=2#play

Banging

http://www.airplot.org.uk/airplot.html

Sign up to help the fight against global warming!

 

I really, really wanted to post a picture of some of my cooking on here. Unfortunately this was the only one that I could find, breakfast in a smiley! A bit corny I know but I made it for a father-to-be friend so he could see how it is done. Every kid has to have at least one breakfast smile. I'm going to take my camera to work with me so better pictures to come, I promise. 

A Meal For The Weekend

The weekend before I moved here to Bristol was meant to be a big one, I think the phrase is "dirty double". With a general night of depravity planned for the Friday night, DMT hard sessions on the Saturday and a boozy night in Chippenham behind me from the night before. Healthy food had to be planned before hand, so soup it was. Lots of soup.

As a general rule I love soup, a big saucepan of Leek and Potato soup can warm and sustain you for the whole weekend! The only downside is all of the chopping but hey ho have a beer or two whilst you do it.

2 White Onions
1 Red Onion
6 Sticks of Celery
3 bulbs of Garlic
4 large Leeks
6 White Potatoes
1 Sweet Potato
3 Carrots
2 Red Chilli's
Tumeric
Mild Curry Powder
Vegetable Boullion
Sea Salt and Cracked Black Pepper
Double Cream

• Start by heating some oil in a large saucepan then begin to dice all of the ingredients and add them to the pot. When doing this always start with the onions, garlic,celery and chilli. 
• Then move on to the root vegetables and finish by adding in the leeks. I usually slice the leeks and use most of the green leaves as well. 
• Cover with water and simmer gently for 20 to 30 minutes. Add in the seasoning and the dry spices. Optionally you can add in vegetable boullion, if you have a fresh one made then throw it straight in. However if you are using an oxo cube or similar then wait until the end. This way you can taste to see if it is required, for me it wasn't.
• Once the vegetables are cooked remove the saucepan from the heat and add in the double cream. Serve with crusty bread and enjoy!

Make sure that the soup you are saving goes into the fridge, only take out what you want each time to be reheated. This bit is important as the last thing that you want adding to your woes on Monday morning is food poisoning.
Now you can get out there and smash it up, live for the night and party hard safe in the knowledge that you have a vat of soup to warm you up when you crawl in.

I will steer clear of recommending this one for every weekend as I am starting to get too old for this!

Safety

Asparagus, Rocquet and Parmesan Risotto

Ingredients:

Serves 4 

4 Diced Shallots

1 Clove crushed Garlic

1 bunch Asparagus (with wood removed)

1 bunch Rocquet

1 Glass White Wine

500 ml Veg Stock

200g Arborio Rice

50g Parmesan

Olive oil for frying

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Okra (optional)

Method

• Heat the olive oil in a large heavy based saucepan over a medium heat. Fry the shallots and garlic untill soft but not browned
• Meanwhile bring a small saucepan of salted water to the boil, when at a rolling boil blanch the Asparagus spears untill al dente. Then refresh in iced cold water, this will prevent the Asparagus from discolouring later
• Once the shallots and garlic are soft add in the Arborio rice and fry gently in the oil untill well coated and glistening then add in the white wine and stir constantly untill it is all absorbed by the rice
• Warm the vegetable stock in a saucepan and cut the tips off the asparagus spears and slice the remaining stalks
• Whilst continually stirring add the stock to the risotto one ladle full at a time, con tinue cooking untill the rice is al dente (if you chose to add in the Okra then finely slice and add now)
• Add in the chopped asparagus stalks and tips, finally just before serving stir in the rocquet untill it has wilted
• Season well and serve with the Parmesan sprinkled over
  

Natural Food

A big part of cooking good food is having good ingredients and the best possible ingredients will come from those grown yourself with love and care. So I have spent my sunday afternoon planting apple trees in my sister's garden.

Not only is this fantastically rewarding with the knowledge that you have done something which will hopefully last for years but before long they should yield some excellent cooking apples. These will make a wonderful ingredient for a dessert or just for a simple apple sauce.

Apple and Thyme Compot

2 Large Bramley Apples

2 tbspn Demerara Sugar

35 ml Calvados

3 Sprigs Thyme

Peel and dice the Bramley apples then place in a saucepan with three to four table spoons of cold water and cook on a low heat. After a few minutes add in the Calvados and Demerara Sugar. Finally strip the leaves from the thyme sprigs and add them to the sauce. Cook for five to ten minutes or untill the apples are soft but not over cooked. This gives a nice chunky apple sauce which goes perfectly with roast pork.

Yorkshire Puddings

I know from experience how hard it is to make the perfect yorkshire pudding's so here is an easy recipe that has allways come through for me. The only downside is it makes 24 and no I can't be bothered to re-calculate for smaller numbers. You will just have to figure that bit out for yourself!

Ingredients:

14 Eggs (beaten)

1lb Plain Flour (sieved)

1 pt Semi-Skimmed Milk

1 tspn Baking Powder

2 Large pinches Salt

Method:

• Preheat the oven to 220 degrees Centigrade
• Whisk together all of the ingredients untill smooth and free of lumps
• Brush yorkshire pudding tins with olive oil and heat in the oven untill smoking
• Pour in the mix and bake in the oven for 25 to 30 mins or untill they have risen and are golden brown, do not open the oven door before 25 mins have passed. Doing so may cause your yorkshires to collapse
  

Butterbean and Thyme Soup

Serves 4

Ingredients:

1 Medium Onion (diced)

2 Cloves Garlic (crushed)

50g Butter

2 tbspn Olive Oil

2 Tins Butterbeans (drained)

1 small bunch Thyme (stripped from stalks)

2 Glasses dry white wine

500 ml Chicken Stock

Salt and freshly ground Black Pepper

Method:

• Melt the butter in a saucepan with the olive oil and fry the onions and garlic untill soft but not brown
• Add the thyme and butterbeans and cook for three minutes
• Add the wine and reduce by half
• Then add in the chicken stock and simmer untill the butterbeans are soft, approximately eight to ten minutes
• Blend untill smooth
  

Drawn Presents... Benjamin One / Jash / Lunarians

It only seems right that my new year in Bristol is started off properly with a night of good music.  So this thursday is gonna be Drawn Recordings night!

Although Jash is an old favourite (check Linkus!) the Lunarians seem particulary interesting, playing post rock with psychedelic guitars. There will be be some good sounds coming out of Mr Wolf's this thursday.

It should be a great night and I am starting to get excited, all I need to do now is some how get some money together for it. It's a pity that I have started to run out of things to sell...

 

Spinach, Wild Mushroom and Ricotta Stuffed Beef Tomatoes with Balsamic Syrup

Serves 4
Ingredients:
4 Beef Tomatoes
1kg Mixed Wild Mushrooms (Roughly chopped)
1 Bag Baby Spinach (Picked)
300g Ricotta Cheese
4 Shallots (Finely sliced)
100 ml Balsamic Vinegar
2 tblsp Demerara Sugar
Parmesan
Olive oil for frying
50g Butter
Sea Salt and Black Pepper

Method:

• Pour the Balsamic vinegar into a small saucepan and add the Demerara sugar. Reduce on a low to medium heat untill thick and syrupy
• Heat two tablespoons of the olive oil in a large frying pan. Fry the shallots untill soft but not browned and then add in the wild mushrooms and butter. Cook on a medium heat for two to three minutes
  
• Add in the spinach and season well with the sea salt and black pepper. Cook for a further minute or untill all the spinach has wilted. Remove from the heat and add the ricotta and mix well
  
• Halve the beef tomatoes and remove most of the seeds with a table spoon. Fill the halves with the spinach and ricotta mix, generously sprinkle the parmesan on top and place on a baking tray
• Bake in a pre-heated oven at 180-190 degrees C for eight to ten minutes untill the tomatoes begin to soften.
• Serve with the Balsamic syrup drizzled on top and with a large side salad.
  

Okra

I recently stumbled across Okra in a local Tesco Express having never seen it before I had to buy it on the spot. After a little hunting on the Internet I found out that the seeds release a creamy sauce when cooked, perfect for a risotto!

I decided to go for an Asparagus, Rocket and Parmesan Risotto with the Okra as an extra bonus, my thinking was to leave out any mascarpone and let the Okra provide the sauce.

I couldn't find any recipe suggestions for using it in risotto so it was going to be trial and error. I decided to add it in at the beginning with the softened onions and before the arborio rice to give it plenty of time to cook and release the sauce. Although this worked well the sauce was released and the flavour combinations worked well together the okra itself was overcooked and turned grey, a little adjusting of the cooking time will be needed.